


Doppelgänger

by sprucewoodcottage (ironmermaidens)



Series: Reaper AU [1]
Category: Hermitcraft
Genre: Gen, Hermitcraft season 6, Hurt/Comfort, Origin Story, reaper au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-26
Updated: 2019-10-26
Packaged: 2021-01-13 17:15:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,098
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21184976
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ironmermaidens/pseuds/sprucewoodcottage
Summary: “I finally confronted him one day, after I’d made his life a living hell for awhile, heh. And you know what he did?”“What?”“He forgave me. But more importantly, he believed me.”Xisuma confronts his double.





	Doppelgänger

**Author's Note:**

> This is a prequel to 3:47PM. It's not required reading, exactly, but it'll probably make a bit more sense if you have read it.

Xisuma stares into his own violet eyes, and he feels himself baring his teeth. The other Xisuma looks uneasy and he thinks, _Good. He should be uneasy._

“Why’re you here?” The other Xisuma finally asks. He sounds wary and tired. Xisuma has certainly given him enough hell to warrant it. “What do you want now?”

“As if you don’t know,” he retorts.

“As obvious as I’m sure it must seem to you,” the other Xisuma says. “I can’t for the life of me figure out why you keep bothering me.”

Xisuma clenches his fists. “You stole my life from me! My friends! My everything!”

The other Xisuma tenses, but looks no less confused. “Maybe you should start at the beginning.”

He feels tears prick at the corners of his eyes in frustration. He’s never felt so frustrated in his life.

“When _I_ died, and they brought _you_ back! That should have been me! It should _be_ me! Not you!”

“What makes you so sure about that?” The other Xisuma asks.

“_Because I watched them bring you back!_” He shouts, his voice breaking in the middle. He tries and fails to bite back a sob. “I watched False and Etho take my body to Cleo, I watched her perform a resurrection on me, and I watched _you_ wake up! I watched them welcome _you_ with open arms! I was standing right there and they never even _looked_ at me!”

He thinks he sees the other Xisuma move closer to him through the tears that blur his vision, and he steps back with a snarl. The other Xisuma stops in his tracks, putting his hands up placatingly.

“And when they finally noticed me…. finally acknowledged me…. they called me Evil. Evil Xisuma.” He sucks in a shuddering breath. “And why? Because I look a little different? I’m still me! I’m still Xisuma! Why can’t they see that?”

“Xisuma…” the other him says, and hearing his name said to him in his own voice, by the one who was responsible for all his hurt, all his pain, makes him sob again. He feels a hand on his shoulder and instinctively pulls away.

“What do you have that I don’t?! Why aren’t I good enough anymore?!”

The other Xisuma puts his hand back on his shoulder, and this time he doesn’t pull away. He feels too drained to fight back. The other Xisuma could kill him right here and there wasn’t anything he could do about it. Would he still respawn? Would he die for good? A dark part of him hopes for the latter.

“Why won’t anyone believe me?” he croaks, and a small cry escapes him when he feels the other Xisuma squeeze his shoulder comfortingly.

“…I believe you.” the other Xisuma says. It’s enough to break him entirely. His legs give under his weight and he’s caught before his knees hit the ground. The other Xisuma gently lowers him to the ground and the kindness of it makes him cry all the harder. He’s done nothing to deserve this kindness.

“I believe you,” the other Xisuma repeats. Xisuma curls his fingers into his doppelgänger’s sleeve and with an uncharacteristic hesitance, he pulls him closer. It’s been so long since he’s felt the closeness of another person. He missed it, and he had forgotten how much he missed it. The other Xisuma puts a hand on his back, and he leans into the touch. He presses his face against the other Xisuma’s shoulder, as if that might put a stopper in his crying.

It doesn’t come quickly. He sits there, holding the other Xisuma as if his life depends on it, shaking with gradually weakening sobs for what feels like hours. Through it all the other Xisuma holds him, shushing and soothing him as he himself had done for the other hermits so many times before.

“Why are you being so kind to me?” he asks when he’s sure he can keep his voice steady. “I haven’t done anything to deserve it.”

“No, you really haven’t…” the other Xisuma says, and he feels his heart constrict at the admission. “But I don’t think you’ve done what you have out of malicious intent.”

“Why is that…?” Xisuma asks. He doesn’t lift his head off of the other Xisuma’s shoulder, afraid that if he does it might break whatever illusion he’s living under.

“You’re like a lion with a thorn in his paw,” his doppelgänger says, and Xisuma feels the other man’s thumb rub across his palm. “You’re acting out because you’re in pain. But if someone can just get close enough, they might be able to take it out.”

The other Xisuma squeezes his hand, and he squeezes back. He feels tears welling in his eyes again.

“And then you can finally heal.”

“I think my problems are bigger than just a little thorn,” Xisuma says. “I’m not sure I’ll ever heal from them. Not all the way.”

“Tell me about them,” the other Xisuma says. “and we’ll see what we can do.”

“You wouldn’t believe it…” he mumbles.

“Don’t be silly,” the other Xisuma says. “I already told you I do.”

“Not about this.”

“Try me.”

Xisuma sighs. “Every server has someone to collect the souls of those who die. And when I–when _we_ died… that became me.”

“…That _does_ sound rather mad,” the other Xisuma says. “This whole situation is mad, isn’t it?”

Xisuma snorts. “You’re right. It is.”

“It’s a lot to take in.”

Xisuma nods.

“And you’ve been doing it by yourself this whole time. While your friends ignored you and shunned you.” His doppelgänger says. Xisuma cringes and nods again. “I’m sorry. That must be difficult. No wonder you’ve been so mad at me.”

“You didn’t ask for this anymore than I did…” he says quietly, guiltily. “I shouldn’t have taken it out on you.”

“Maybe not. But don’t worry about it.” The other Xisuma says. “I forgive you, and I’m afraid I’ll have to ask that you forgive me as well.”

Xisuma frowns against his doppelgänger’s shoulder. “What for?”

“I don’t think you can be Xisuma anymore,” the other Xisuma says. His fingers, still tangled together with Xisuma—but not Xisuma—’s own, felt tense.

Xisuma—not Xisuma—swallows thickly. “You’re right.”

“What should I call you instead?” his doppelgänger asks. “I doubt you want to be Evil Xisuma forever.”

Xisuma—not Xisuma—gives a short, melancholic laugh. “It’s not so bad, really. I’ve always wanted to get up to some mischief.”

The other Xisuma—the only Xisuma—laughs too. “I know. Me too.”

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [The Sweetest Cycle, The Gentlest Poison](https://archiveofourown.org/works/22566016) by [RemainingQuestions](https://archiveofourown.org/users/RemainingQuestions/pseuds/RemainingQuestions)
  * [Hold me Gently, Hold me Tightly](https://archiveofourown.org/works/23481835) by [RemainingQuestions](https://archiveofourown.org/users/RemainingQuestions/pseuds/RemainingQuestions)


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